DALLAS

I have missed you. I have been negligent. I have been crazy busy helping the dyslexics. They came together in Dallas, so that is where I was last week from Tuesday through Sunday. I was mostly working so I will skip the finer details and just tell you to juicy, interesting parts.

I dealt with the craziness crazy dyslexic of the whole conference after my first hour there. He wore work boots, denim overall capri's (yes you read that correctly), a plaid shirt, blazer, and cowboy hat. Oh, yeah- and he screamed at me. Oh yeah, and he thinks he can channel Tom Brokaw.

I got food poisoning from the hotel restaurant. And not a mild case either. I had the full gut-wrenching, writhing in pain case, complete with 5 vomit sessions and only 2 hours of sleep. I still don't feel completely over it.

Two nights later , my boss and I went out to a country bar.

As you can see, I rode the bull. Twice. The second time I actually rode it right, with my hand holding the strap underhand. I bruised my pelvic bone on my on knuckle. There's one to be proud of!

I saw the grassy knoll, the Book Depository and the two X's in the street where JFK was shot and killed.

I don't think I felt as solemn there as I should have. All I could think about was how unsecure the area was- how exposed the President was. Oh, and the impromptu tour guide who begged for $5 each after the 5 minute tour pointed out a bunch of conspiracy stuff that should not have made so much sense coming from a drunk street hustler.