See what I just did up there. Wasn't it edgy and urban?
So Halloween was a few months ago now and I am incredibly late for posting. So what. Deal with it. You like pictures. I have pictures. Let's be friend's.
Update: I had this post saved as a text file until I could get the pictures uploaded. In the meantime, Andy posted this. Either he has been reading my computer files, I have ESP, or Andy and I think way too much alike for my comfort.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Paris - Day One (Friday into Saturday) - The Prelude
For our trip to Paris, we decided to fly out of Philadelphia to make it a direct flight and to drop Jezebel off at my mom's house. We were going to drive up to Philly on Thursday night, but work obligations prevented us from leaving until Friday morning. Larry had been anxiously awaiting the delivery of his new glasses to the Sears and they were supposed to come in on Friday, but no one knew when. We loaded up the car, got breakfast, drove to Ellicott City to drop some computer equipment off at my boss' house. As we were getting in the car, Larry got a call - the glasses were in! We turned around and headed back down to Bowie and got the glasses. I waited in the car with Jezebel. When Larry returned to the car from the Sears, he handed me the glasses and says "Put these on and tell me what you see!". Of course, what I saw was what I see when I have had a few drinks, everything was blurry. Turns out, it was blurry for Larry too, and he was worried that he had given them my prescription instead of his. Realizing that this was not the case, I suggested that he try them on upside down. They worked perfectly. So, Larry had glasses and would be able to see Paris, but Paris would have to see Larry wearing his glasses like he just got off the short bus.
We needed to run back to the house to get yet another jacket for me, so Larry removed the lenses, flipped them and screwed them back in. They looked pretty good, considering, and he could see without wearing glasses like a retard. Hooray!
We headed up to Philly, visited with my family for a few hours, then drove to the airport. Security was not too bad, made it to the gate and had a few drinks in the hopes that it would help us sleep on the plane. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 8:40PM. We were on the plane, on the ground, until 9:50. Apparently, the luggage loader had gotten jammed, and in the process had jammed one of the containers of luggage half way in/halfway out of the plane, and it took them an hour to get it unstuck. Finally, after an hour of waiting, we were airborn.
We were airborn sardines. The seats were so tight that Larry's knees were constantly pressing against the seat in front of him. And the little leg room that you used to have under the seat has been replaced with big boxes that house the electronics needed for each of the personal entertainment systems. Now, I like TV and all, but not when it means less space for my body to sit comfortably. I literally curled up into a ball, with my legs half on Larry's lap, so that he could turn and put his feet under my seat (thats love, people). We slept uncomfortably for most of the flight. The sleeping pills that Amanda gave us gave Larry horrendous gas pains, which thankfully did not turn into my horrendous nose pains.
We arrived in Paris at 11AM on Saturday, instead of the scheduled 10:05. Hooray, Paris!
(One hilarious sidenote- while on the plane, Larry and I observed the bottom legband of someone's tighty-whitey's. The teenage boy in the seat next to us had his pants so low, that I am pretty sure that you could just call them off. Just in case you were wondering- and I know you were - boy whaletail is not cute. Don't worry, Larry took pictures with his cellphone- let me know if you want a copy. And I'll let the proper authorities know.)
We needed to run back to the house to get yet another jacket for me, so Larry removed the lenses, flipped them and screwed them back in. They looked pretty good, considering, and he could see without wearing glasses like a retard. Hooray!
We headed up to Philly, visited with my family for a few hours, then drove to the airport. Security was not too bad, made it to the gate and had a few drinks in the hopes that it would help us sleep on the plane. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 8:40PM. We were on the plane, on the ground, until 9:50. Apparently, the luggage loader had gotten jammed, and in the process had jammed one of the containers of luggage half way in/halfway out of the plane, and it took them an hour to get it unstuck. Finally, after an hour of waiting, we were airborn.
We were airborn sardines. The seats were so tight that Larry's knees were constantly pressing against the seat in front of him. And the little leg room that you used to have under the seat has been replaced with big boxes that house the electronics needed for each of the personal entertainment systems. Now, I like TV and all, but not when it means less space for my body to sit comfortably. I literally curled up into a ball, with my legs half on Larry's lap, so that he could turn and put his feet under my seat (thats love, people). We slept uncomfortably for most of the flight. The sleeping pills that Amanda gave us gave Larry horrendous gas pains, which thankfully did not turn into my horrendous nose pains.
We arrived in Paris at 11AM on Saturday, instead of the scheduled 10:05. Hooray, Paris!
(One hilarious sidenote- while on the plane, Larry and I observed the bottom legband of someone's tighty-whitey's. The teenage boy in the seat next to us had his pants so low, that I am pretty sure that you could just call them off. Just in case you were wondering- and I know you were - boy whaletail is not cute. Don't worry, Larry took pictures with his cellphone- let me know if you want a copy. And I'll let the proper authorities know.)
Secrets to Successful Holiday Shopping
1. Don't wait until Christmas Eve to head to the mall. Same goes with Black Friday.
2. Don't bring people that hate shopping, especially when its the kind of shopping where you have no ideas for people, so you just wander aimlessly from store to store, hoping that ideas will come to you. I love this kind of shopping (as long as you having broken Rule #1) but I live with someone who does not.
3. Take breaks whenever you feel the need. I know that we all look down on those people that sit in the mall lounge/lazy people display, but this should not deter you. Those seats are comfortable.
4. Use this time to multi-task and catch up with a friend over the phone. Sure, its not as good as actually shopping with a friend, but the plus side is that you can shop for that friend too, and they will never know. All the while, they will keep you entertained and provide ideas for the others on your shopping list. It's what I like to call a Win-Win-Win situation.
5. Eat while shopping if you get hungry. And don't feel cornered into the traditional mall food- pretzels, Cinnabon, etc. I can attest that it is possible to push a cart through the Target while eating a chicken salad sandwich. The girl at the food kiosk promised me that it would be the tastiest thing I have even eaten, that it would be "magical". She was not far off. I do not believe that Target knows the wisdom that they possess.
2. Don't bring people that hate shopping, especially when its the kind of shopping where you have no ideas for people, so you just wander aimlessly from store to store, hoping that ideas will come to you. I love this kind of shopping (as long as you having broken Rule #1) but I live with someone who does not.
3. Take breaks whenever you feel the need. I know that we all look down on those people that sit in the mall lounge/lazy people display, but this should not deter you. Those seats are comfortable.
4. Use this time to multi-task and catch up with a friend over the phone. Sure, its not as good as actually shopping with a friend, but the plus side is that you can shop for that friend too, and they will never know. All the while, they will keep you entertained and provide ideas for the others on your shopping list. It's what I like to call a Win-Win-Win situation.
5. Eat while shopping if you get hungry. And don't feel cornered into the traditional mall food- pretzels, Cinnabon, etc. I can attest that it is possible to push a cart through the Target while eating a chicken salad sandwich. The girl at the food kiosk promised me that it would be the tastiest thing I have even eaten, that it would be "magical". She was not far off. I do not believe that Target knows the wisdom that they possess.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Bonjour, Y'all!
We have returned from Paris. Stealing from Amanda, I will be writing up a description of our trip in detail (although I will probably not note any of the history nor link to the Wikipedia entry's for the places I describe). Be prepared for alot of " We went here, then there, then we ate, then we went there." It will be exciting for all, what with its lack of intelligent details. We had a great time, did not want to leave, but are glad to be home.
The title of this post comes from a story that Larry told me about a friend of his from work. He had a French teacher in high school who was from the South and would greet the class every day with a Southern drawl filled "Bonjour, y'all!"
It takes a special talent to offend France and the South all at the same time.
The title of this post comes from a story that Larry told me about a friend of his from work. He had a French teacher in high school who was from the South and would greet the class every day with a Southern drawl filled "Bonjour, y'all!"
It takes a special talent to offend France and the South all at the same time.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
Would you like fries with that?
Conversation with the boss over IM:
Boss:We got a big RFP from Burger King. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I might make a food for service bid
Me: as long as i still get my salary in dollars and not BK Broilers, thats fine by me
Boss:No Double Whopper pay days? That's too bad.
Me: Nope. They are delicious but i don't think that the mortage company accepts them.
Boss:We got a big RFP from Burger King. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I might make a food for service bid
Me: as long as i still get my salary in dollars and not BK Broilers, thats fine by me
Boss:No Double Whopper pay days? That's too bad.
Me: Nope. They are delicious but i don't think that the mortage company accepts them.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
DALLAS
I have missed you. I have been negligent. I have been crazy busy helping the dyslexics. They came together in Dallas, so that is where I was last week from Tuesday through Sunday. I was mostly working so I will skip the finer details and just tell you to juicy, interesting parts.
I dealt with the craziness crazy dyslexic of the whole conference after my first hour there. He wore work boots, denim overall capri's (yes you read that correctly), a plaid shirt, blazer, and cowboy hat. Oh, yeah- and he screamed at me. Oh yeah, and he thinks he can channel Tom Brokaw.
I got food poisoning from the hotel restaurant. And not a mild case either. I had the full gut-wrenching, writhing in pain case, complete with 5 vomit sessions and only 2 hours of sleep. I still don't feel completely over it.
Two nights later , my boss and I went out to a country bar.

I dealt with the craziness crazy dyslexic of the whole conference after my first hour there. He wore work boots, denim overall capri's (yes you read that correctly), a plaid shirt, blazer, and cowboy hat. Oh, yeah- and he screamed at me. Oh yeah, and he thinks he can channel Tom Brokaw.
I got food poisoning from the hotel restaurant. And not a mild case either. I had the full gut-wrenching, writhing in pain case, complete with 5 vomit sessions and only 2 hours of sleep. I still don't feel completely over it.
Two nights later , my boss and I went out to a country bar.
As you can see, I rode the bull. Twice. The second time I actually rode it right, with my hand holding the strap underhand. I bruised my pelvic bone on my on knuckle. There's one to be proud of!
I saw the grassy knoll, the Book Depository and the two X's in the street where JFK was shot and killed.
I don't think I felt as solemn there as I should have. All I could think about was how unsecure the area was- how exposed the President was. Oh, and the impromptu tour guide who begged for $5 each after the 5 minute tour pointed out a bunch of conspiracy stuff that should not have made so much sense coming from a drunk street hustler.
I saw the grassy knoll, the Book Depository and the two X's in the street where JFK was shot and killed.
I don't think I felt as solemn there as I should have. All I could think about was how unsecure the area was- how exposed the President was. Oh, and the impromptu tour guide who begged for $5 each after the 5 minute tour pointed out a bunch of conspiracy stuff that should not have made so much sense coming from a drunk street hustler.
Friday, November 2, 2007
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